Bursts of Color

Where to begin? That's always the issue when everything has changed.
I have never experienced such a radical shift of thinking.
I have never experienced this much joy or freedom
Never been this ok with me.
Never before read the word with this much excitement, breaking down in tears as I realize
I am ok
life is a gift
it is meant to enjoy
to be IN joy
to embrace.
Lately I have been laughing in my sleep
every day is an adventure.

I have found myself:
eating a fried grasshopper bought on the street
dancing around the room with becca because of reveltion of grace
Riding a horse down the Great Wall of China
standing against the wind in Tianamin square
learning how to make traditional new years dumplings
singing praises at a famous battle field site
walking for hours trying to find a Starbucks in Beijing
rolling a giant dice in a game at a Korean church
dancing around the apartment of my Chinese friend to Nelly Furtado
sitting in a smoky bar watching the guys play music full of life and truth
rethinking everything

New years Eve, sitting on the roof of our hotel by myself, i wrote this:

Color. Light. Heat. Explosion. The cold lingers on me from sitting on the roof the past half hour.
From where I sat, I could see Tianjin stretched out before me.
High rise apartments and their multicolored windows shining.
Darkness surrounded me. But in that darkness, bursts of color all around.
Red, green and gold. These are the colors of my new paradigm.
Cold chilled me, but the warmth in my chest far surpassed February in China.
A burst of heat knowing that I am loved and life is beautiful and full and just beginning. Boom! Another explosion and I giggle again. You are full of surprises and mystery, of sudden bursts of light in the darkness. Sitting on a rooftop in China alone on the most important night for them, I am struck by the irony that I should feel alone, yet I am so content, I could explode. Bam!
The brilliance of Your plan intrigues me, fascinates me, leaves me stunned oohing and aahing.

Sometimes the voice of truth comes as a single candle lit in the darkness,
now it comes as Chinese fireworks.